Lately, as I’ve been embroidering in the evenings, my thread has been snagging and knotting more than usual. I am not really sure why this is happening–maybe I’m rushing or distracted–but whatever it is, it is frustrating. Yet, as I was not-so-patiently unpicking another snarl last night, I began to consider the knot as an object. Knots are strong, the thread tougher for being wrapped around and against itself, more resistant to breaking than when outstretched. 

I have been in knot-mode since March of last year, wound tight to cope with the pandemic and its stresses. Curling into myself, and wrapping my family in with me, absolutely made us stronger in the face of looming threat. But now, as things begin to open, there are opportunities for safe expansion into the wider world. I know it is time to relax and extend again. 

Instead of this feeling like a welcome relief, instead of being able to gently stretch outward, I’m feeling friction. It is abrasive, rubbing me the wrong way. The knot is fraying instead of coming loose. It feels safer to cling to this knot than to return to being one of many threads in the complex web that is the world. 

And so, rather than fraying, I’m trying to imagine the tiny ragged bits are parts of me reaching out like feelers, testing the air. How is it out there? Tell me in the comments how you are coping with so much change.